2020 is a lot of things right now, but one thing for sure is it’s a year to break the mold, a year to break the rules. It’s a new era to wildly throw off traditions that may no longer represent you and embrace authenticity.
Modern weddings are vibrant and fresh. Their wedding parties are diverse in size and representation. They are truly a reflection of the people who mean the most to you in your life, as opposed to someone chosen to fulfill a certain role.
As wedding planners, we’re always reassuring couples that they have the power to choose their party based on love and not labels.
For decades, the Maid of Honor has been a female and often a sister or best friend. However, many couples find themselves wondering if they have to be bound by old customs when choosing their wedding party forced to find someone who ‘fits the name’ but truly doesn’t embody the role.
Love is love, and that applies to every facet of a wedding, right down to the selection of the close gathering of friends and family who form the wedding party. Couples are looking at the individual people who have supported them, who have helped nurture their relationships and paved their journey to the alter through friendship.
Instead of getting hung up on labels like ‘bridesmaids’ or ‘groomsman,’ they are selecting their wedding party often mixing up who stands on either side of the aisle.
It isn’t just LGBTQ+ couples who are moving away from archaic labels. Vows are written to be inclusive making commitments between partners, and some couples have done away altogether with a notion of a ‘brides side’ or a ‘grooms side,’ not only because some couples are two brides and no grooms, or maybe they don’t feel they identify with either term, but also because they see their collective community without any kind of division between them.
Select your Best Person based on the friend or family member who is your ride or die. They are organized; want to take on helping with wedding details like going on fittings, or planning your pre-wedding celebrations. They should be reliable, responsible, and up for the adventure of planning your big day, and those are actually the only labels they need.
Sit down with your partner and think about the people who have touched your life and how you want them to contribute to your wedding vision. Ask your friend who writes beautiful poetry to be the one who gives the toast at your reception. Consider having your two best friends, no matter their gender, be the ones standing next to you at the altar. This can lead to tons of creative ideas when it comes to wedding party attire. There are NO rules here. No one individual needs to be the person of honor they can all be persons of honor. Want to mix and match the number of people on either side? Go right ahead. It’s your day and all that really matters is the people closest to you are there by your side.
Love is trust, communication, passion, and patience: it’s not a gender.
Weddings, from the couples to the wedding party and right down to the ring bearer, can all be designed based on decisions around who you love, who loves you, and how you wish to honor that love, with no concern for traditional wedding party roles based on gender. For help with your Upstate New York Wedding planning, get in touch!
